Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

How to Uncover the One For You

The one for you means exactly what it says-the one for you.
Not the one everybody else ogles over, or the one that your mum, your dad, your finest pal or the editor of Cosmopolitan or Playboy magazine believes to be best for you.
We are talking at this point about the person who is ready to take you as close to heaven as you can get to on this earth, the one and only person who you believe can make you happy for life.
On no account commit yourself to a relationship with someone else's fantasy or someone else desire.
A good number of these relationships were manufactured in some Hollywood or Hollywood studio, television soap, fashion house PR department, or at the whim of some power-hungry media mogul who wouldn't recognize true love if it presented itself on the front page - not unless it was celebrity-related or advertising-sponsored.
The need for approval of your partner in somebody else's eyes must play no part in your decision of who is right for you.
Don't listen to others, discover someone who will meet your needs, your dreams and someone who genuinely wants to make you joyful.
There can be no denying that touchable things like money, fame, fine looks and material prospects play their part in almost everybody's pick of the ideal partner, but lasting satisfaction involves more than this.
While the Ferrari is parked in the garage, your parked in bed next to someone who doesn't satisfy your emotional and spiritual needs.
Time to get real or become unhappy!! If you are dating someone who makes your eyes lock, your heart pound and your knees shake and cave in beneath you just by thinking about them, you know you have been struck by the thunderbolt of lust.
But not each person is struck that way when they first realize that they are tailing for someone.
In any event, whether love hits you between the eyes and knocks you numb, or creeps up on you progressively and takes you by stealth almost against your will, the time has come to ask yourself the significant question: Is this the one? Mr.
Or Ms Absolutely Right in the flesh? The solitary way to find out is to consider coolly and dispassionately here and now how you feel when you're with this person.
Do you feel relaxed, comfortable, excited, turned on, pleased and enthusiastic about your future? Can you be open and entirely frank with each other? Is it fun, uplifting and straightforward to be together? Do you share, or, if not, are you tolerant towards each other's views and values - emotionally, physically, economically and spiritually? Do you respect each other? When you quarrel, as you will, do you feel the need to make up, because you can't stand the torture of seeing your partner, and yourself, hurt? Are you both genuinely moving in the same direction in life? Are there lots of different things you like discussing and doing together? Do you share the same aspirations? If you're answering 'Yes' to a lot of questions, things are beginning to look good, very good, but with the Countdown method, we leave nothing to chance.
Let's do something lovers and potential lovers seldom do: Let's get technical! Put aside for now the feelings of our heart and examine seven crucial qualities, all of which your partner will need to possess or develop to ensure long-term potential for a permanent and rewarding relationship with you.
Passion: The laws of attraction dictate that your partner must do it for you! This doesn't mean to say that you have to break out in red-hot flushes at the mere mention of their name.
It does mean that you cannot fake it, deny your true feelings or kid yourself.
You have to believe that this person will love you like no other, in the way that you want to be loved, and you have to know that you want to love this person, with overwhelming passion, no holding back and with no strings attached! A mistake many of us make when looking for the ideal partner is to assume that there must be instant attraction, rather than a gradual one.
If you meet someone eligible but you are not necessarily attracted to him or her straightaway, it doesn't mean that you won't become attracted to this person as you get to know them better.
Sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences with one another often results in strong mental and emotional resonance that can spark physical attraction and sexual resonance.
This is the basis upon which professionally arranged marriages are put together.
Generally, they work because attraction is based upon how you feel about yourself when the two of you are together, taking into account your respective backgrounds and future expectations, not simply physical attraction in the first instance.
Positive attitude: Is the glass half-full or half-empty? And, does it make the slightest bit of difference? Well, yes, rather a lot, actually.
Admittedly, this is not the sort of question one ponders in the early stages of a relationship, but whether your partner has an essentially positive view of the world, rather than a negative one, will make a big difference to your quality of life.
High self-esteem: This is conducive to a healthy, loving relationship because realistically, if your partner knows how to treat himself or herself well, there is a firm basis for believing that he or she will know how to treat you well too.
People with low self-esteem often need someone to love to be able to feel good about themselves, whereas people with high self-esteem are secure within themselves and when they give their love, it's because they really want to.
Personal integrity: This is paramount to the long-term achievement of a relationship in this hazardous, tricky, over-hyped and increasingly crass surroundings in which we live.
Do you really want to throw away the rest of your life with someone who doesn't have the courage of his or else her own convictions? Most of us perpetrate the occasional borderline naughty, but can you really admire someone who is as straightforward as a spin-doctor? Remember - there are people out there who would not think twice about taking advantage of you when the opportunity presents itself.
Emotional maturity: This quality is conducive to a relaxed and open relationship where feelings can be spoken and shared, and problems - even matters of an intimate nature - can be tackled together in a positive and supportive environment.
Winning intimate relationships are not based on sharing bricks-and-mortar, a king-size bed and a luxury bathroom.
They are based on shared emotions.
Relationship-orientated partners: Naturally 'we' people, rather than 'I' individuals tend to be adaptive and forward looking, responding easily to changes as the relationship grows and matures, seeking wisdom and enlightenment to steer both parties on to a greater a more fulfilling lifetime of shared experiences.
These are the people who understand the value of personal and partnership growth.
To build it to magnificent twosomeness, it's helpful to be the partner, or to have a partner, with commitment to mutual growth.
A kind and responsive nature: This is not necessarily fashionable or very available in this age of advantage-taking and humiliation of all things gentle.
But, when it comes to settling down and cuddling up close - through the good times as well as the real downers - you'll be pleased about this very special quality.
In conclusion, it's worth noting that all of the above seven qualities - yes, all of them - can be cultivated.
Go ahead and choose the partner for you with the full confidence and courage of your convictions.
Use your head, your heart and your gut instinct to steer you to Mr.
Or Ms Absolutely Right It's your call!

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