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How to Make Sex Pleasurable and Satisfying, Not Lustful

When you are famished, you grab the first food that comes your way.
Even a morsel is fully satisfying if you haven't eaten for days.
When you want to enjoy the pleasures of a really good meal, you go to a fine restaurant.
What distinguishes satisfaction and pleasure can be likened to the difference between taking a snack and fine dining, with wine and violinist to boot.
Just like sex.
Lust and love: "Do you want to meet me just for sex?"is a question I've been asked so many times by women I wanted to take out.
And I admit I always have a hard time answering it, not because I don't have one, but because I may not be convincing enough to tell a lie.
Fortunately, some of them fall for it.
And yes, no matter what the pretext is, the ultimate aim in taking a woman out is to find the shortest route between the dining room and the bedroom.
Which brings forth the question, "Is it lust or love; a snack or fine dining?" Sex is probably one of the most wonderful, if not the most wonderful, experiences a man, and woman, can have.
And lust is the driving force behind it.
I cannot imagine how sex can be consummated without a certain amount of lust behind it.
How it is done and what happens the morning after, delineates sex for lust or sex for a wonderful relationship.
It can either be simply satisfying or very pleasurable; it can leave a bad taste in your mouth or makes you remember her by for days or longer.
Getting the most out of sex: All women have an activation button.
If pressed the right way, they will succumb to your charms and take you to their arms.
Finding it, considering the complexities of a women, is the challenge.
You can spend the entire evening bungling along, searching for an opening, or you can deftly get her to help you.
Here are some effective ways of doing that: - Know her well enough: While some women have a healthy attitude towards sex, others find it dirty; they simply don't want to talk about it or anything leading to it.
The mere mention of the word, or something like it, is enough to shut them off like an agitated clam.
A great level of conversational skills is needed to find out, without being too obvious, such things as, her religious inclinations, social background, hang-ups, her expectations from a man, her attitude towards dating, age differences and things that excite her.
Call it sexual profiling.
These will give you a clear idea if you will have her for dessert or ask for the tab.
- Lead her on gently: I love this part.
This is the beginning of seduction.
It can be a lot of things, like knowing what sexually turns her on, casual touching of the hands or knees, brushing off her hair from her face, etc..
It could be exploring her sexual fantasies, why sex is important in our lives, her best sexual experience and her sexual preferences.
- Explore her ideas on sex: Most women I know prefer to establish a good friendly relationship before going to bed.
Somehow, it gives them the feeling of being wanted, removes whatever feelings of guilt for having sex with someone they just met.
If she's really worth it, by all means walk the extra mile.
Sex is always better with someone you care so much about.
- Know her sex IQ: Have you seen a couple gracefully and effortlessly take to the dance floor dancing the tango? Sex is no different with someone who knows and anticipates your next moves.
You, both, will gracefully (though not effortlessly) blend together towards a really satisfying and pleasurable climax.
You wouldn't want to have sex with someone you grapple with as if in a mixed martial arts competition, would you? - Know her excitement level: Men, by nature, are conquering animals.
They move on once the job is done.
Like a roll on/roll off vessel.
Women, on the other hand, love to be invaded, to be explored.
They want to savor the experience as many times as possible.
Pleasurable and satisfying sex needs the qualities of a conqueror and an invader.
Be sure you are up to the challenge.
It is almost certain that you can't get a second serving if you can't.
Recently, a middle-aged woman opined that orgasms are for men, and that women get their sexual satisfaction simply by knowing that they are able to satisfy their men.
I find this totally contradictory to popular wisdom (mine) that women, on the average, are multiple-orgasm creatures.
And men, on the average, can barely make her come once.
This is proven by studies showing that only 40 to 60% of women reach orgasm during sex.
Want to make sex satisfying and pleasurable for both of you? Make it a two-way street.

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