Why It"s a Good Thing to Be a Little Selfish When Getting Back Into the Dating Game
The general instinct is to be as accommodating as possible when you begin dating again in hopes that things will work out well.
I contend that this is not always the best case scenario and may land you in an unhappy situation if you aren't careful about it.
Instead, try being a little bit selfish when you start dating and see what a difference it can make in how you feel about the relationship and how the person you're dating responds to you.
This isn't to say you should become a tyrant or shrew (as the case may be).
I'm only stating that you should be selfish on occasion throughout the dating process.
Here are a few great reasons why: Being a little selfish from the start will establish a precedence that you're going to put yourself first on occasion.
We've been taught since preschool that it's not nice to be selfish.
The truth of that matter is that it's human to be selfish sometimes and to display those small bouts of selfishness let others know that you respect yourself and expect them to do the same.
It's not the grand evil we've been taught it is.
Another benefit, albeit an unexpected benefit, of being selfish a little bit is the sense of empowerment it provides.
If you were the one left behind when your relationship ended you may still be feeling a little bit powerless and out of control over your own life.
Small acts of selfishness allow you to regain that control and take back the driver's seat once again.
Perhaps the most important benefit of being just a tad selfish when dating someone new is that it helps you realize that it's good to be selfish in a relationship on occasion.
Relationships are a series of give and take.
It isn't all about one person giving and the other doing all the taking.
You both get to be selfless and selfish at times in a healthy relationship.
It's just better when you aren't both being selfish at the same time in opposite directions.
How far should you take it? Obviously, you don't want to take it too far or there will be no second date.
If you are asked what you want to do, what you want to eat, or where you'd like to go give an honest answer instead of saying it doesn't matter.
It's a small step but may be one you didn't make in your previous relationship.
These small things matter and let your date know a lot of good things about you as well.