Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

When You"re Married To a Narcissist

Staying happily married is hard work even for the happiest of couples. When one of the partners shows a narcissistic personality, divorce may be inevitable. No matter how saintly an individual may be, living with someone who's full of himself (or herself) is almost an unbearable situation. Narcissism is a psychological disorder which causes the person to obsess about his own self without thinking of the needs of his partner. Conditions in real life circumstances, such as appreciation, compromise, love, adjustment, and balance are unknowns to a person with a narcissistic personality as they strive perpetually to satisfy their own needs.

If you are still in the dating stage, examine your boy- or girlfriend to see if you notice any of the traits of narcissism. These include:

* needs constant admiration from other people.
* incapable of understanding your feelings
* exploitative nature
* unreasonable expectations
* arrogant and haughty
* self-important
* feelings of being more unique and special than anyone else can be
* envy at other people's successes
* believes others are envious of him

If you are seeing these traits on a regular basis, it may be a sign that this isn't the right person for you. A narcissist isn't going to change, and if you marry him, you'll end up spending your life sacrificing your own needs while constantly having to build up his ego. It isn't a very pleasant thought, is it?

If you've already married a person with a personality like this, the union is likely to end in divorce. Some hints to make it easier for you to leave the unpleasant relationship are:

* Be sure to have plenty of support,be it from friends, family, or a support group,
because it's hard dealing with this alone.
* Don't allow the person to frighten you from doing what you need to do.
* Don't let them try to convince you that you're making a mistake.
* If you need it, get a court-ordered restraining order.

Your spouse thrives on power, and he isn't going to want to lose the power he holds over you. You'll find that he'll do absolutely anything to get his own way, whether it's to lie, cheat, or steal. He will not fight fair, and your divorce will most likely end up being long and messy. He's going to try and work on your emotions, and you'll be so stressed out that you may want to cave in, but don't do it. He's just exhibiting more reasons why you wanted the divorce in the first place.

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