Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Remarriage Preparation - This is a Must For Your Remarriage to Get Off to a Good Start

Red flags are those warning signs our gut gives us about a situation.
Some people call them "intuition" others see them as "God's protection.
"However you define them, I think most people would agree they are usually worth listening to.
Unfortunately, we often don't.
This is especially true for people preparing to marry.
I find this particularly sad because marriage is such a huge decision.
What's even more concerning is when people who are remarrying ignore these danger signs.
I've seen this happen time and time again with couples I've seen.
Today I'd like to focus on one of the more common reasons I've seen people ignore the red flags before they say "I Do" again: Financial dependence Divorce is expensive.
In our society where most families are living one paycheck away from bankruptcy, divorce puts a lot of pressure on the financial lifestyle.
Going from 2 paychecks to 1 and then having child support to pay puts a lot of pressure on the old budget.
Rather than making appropriate adjustments, I've seen far too many people immediately begin "hunting" for a new partner to help ease these financial burdens.
The cohabitation rate for divorcees in new relationships is almost 3 times that of never marrieds.
I consider this to be one of the biggest reasons.
This is probably the saddest ignored red flag to me.
If you are marrying this person because you're financially dependent upon them, you're in essence selling yourself to them.
And this isn't just women who find themselves in this predicament!I've had many couples in my office who clearly do not like each other anymore or obviously are not compatible, but still planning to marry.
When I ask them why, one or both will admit that they can't support themselves alone.
What's the solution?First and foremost - adjust your lifestyle!Does the idea of living in an apartment thrill you?Probably not, but it may be necessary for awhile.
Do you relish the thought of working 2 jobs?I don't know many people who do, but it may not be an option in the immediate future.
You are no longer married and have 2 incomes coming in so stop living like you are.
Getting yourself financially independent needs to be one of your top priorities.
This is a stressor that will permeate everything you do if it's not under control.
You will not have the energy to parent your kids the way they need.
You will not make good relationship choices because they'll be made out of fear rather than commitment.

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