Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

Nice Guys Can Get Dates, Too

If you're a guy who's often dismissed by attractive women as being "too nice" or "boring," cheer up.
There's hope, and you don't have to turn into Attila the Hun (or even Colin Farrell) to turn things around.
You've probably noticed that many women go for bad boys.
These lasses either enjoy a good challenge (and hope to tame a guy), or they possess an unconscious desire to be abused.
You simply cannot rehabilitate a masochist, so keep moving.
As for women who enjoy a good challenge, you have a shot.
Here's what works: Be your usual nice, friendly self.
Approach a woman casually.
Say hello and smile.
By no means should you be "too nice" and offer her a drink.
Mention the weather, the game on TV, or the music.
If she gives you the once-over (that withering stare that runs from your head to your feet), very nicely say, "Well, have a good night.
" Smile engagingly.
Then walk away slowly and coolly.
Do not look over your shoulder.
Do not point her out to a friend.
You're done with her.
(If you have the bad fortune to be stuck waiting for a drink after she's given you the once-over, smile, say goodnight, and turn your back.
Take your drink and go.
) If you're talking to a woman, and she flicks her hair and looks over her shoulder, ask her, "Are you expecting somebody?" If she tells you she's waiting for another man, say, "Lucky guy," smile, and split (even if you look like Homer Simpson, you'll come off looking like George Clooney).
If she says she's waiting for a friend, respond with something like, "Oh, yeah? I'm here with some guys from college.
" Smile and walk away.
Resist the impulse to buy her a drink! The key is to intrigue her.
Your goal: To catch her sneaking a glimpse of you later on (do this carefully; she shouldn't catch you looking at her every two minutes).
If she does indeed sneak a glimpse of you, offer an easy smile.
Wait ten minutes and head to the men's room.
On your way back, make a casual comment like, "Crowded in here tonight," or "Having fun?" If she's receptive, chat for a few minutes.
Then offer her a drink.
Get her talking.
If there's a band playing, you're in luck.
Ask her what she thinks about them.
Ask her what kind of music she likes in general.
The goal: Find out what she's crazy about.
Match her enthusiasm.
I once knew a newspaper reporter who succeeded in dating new women every week with this trick.
If the woman liked The Beatles, he liked The Beatles.
If she liked Martha Stewart, he'd make comments about the performance of her stock, and so on.
You don't ever want to pretend you share a woman's enthusiasm for, say, Grey's Anatomy, but you can certainly ask her why she likes the show and listen appreciatively.
Finish your drink and move along.
Whatever you do, don't let her think she's got you in the bag.
Don't let her assume you're going to buy her drinks all night, or that you have nothing better to do than talk to her.
Tell her, "Maybe I'll see you later.
" Smile sincerely.
Go back to your friends, the bartender, or your place under the big-screen TV.
Whatever.
Just go.
If she's interested, she'll attempt to get your attention again.
She'll catch your eye or bump into you on her way to the bathroom.
If she's leaving for the night, she'll stop and say goodbye.
At this point, you can casually (there's that word again!) ask if you can call her.
If she says yes, it's best to be caught without a pen.
Ask her if she has one.
If she says no, ask somebody else.
You want women to find you charming and easygoing, as opposed to being "on the make" or hurting for a date.
Not having a pen accomplishes this elegantly.
(If you happen to have a pen, don't lie about it.
Calmly say, "I'm pretty sure I have one" and fish it out.
Whatever you do, don't ever lie about anything.
) Say goodnight.
Wait a couple of days and give her a call.
Then pat yourself on the back.
You've got a date, you're still a nice guy (better yet, a great guy), and no woman in her right mind would ever call you boring.

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