I Think My Husband Wants a Divorce - 5 Things You Should Know When Divorce is a Possibility
I realize the complete fear that may be coursing through your body at the thought of your husband leaving.
It may be difficult for you to think logically at the moment.
However, the fact that you have a suspicion already confirms that waiting any longer to take action could be both emotionally and financially costly.
Think through these five considerations to help guide your next moves.
Divorce and Kids You will probably not get to see your kids every day.
If you and your husband have children, then your kids should be the first thing you need to think about if divorce is a possibility.
I am not suggesting that you need to stay together just for the sake of your children.
You SHOULD, however, make every possible effort to rebuild a happy marriage.
Close your eyes and imagine not seeing your children every single day.
It's unfathomable, isn't it? The thought of not being able to kiss their sweet heads every night when they go to bed should shake you to your core.
No matter how difficult things might be with your husband, you need to keep your children in mind when deciding your next steps.
Divorce and Money You will end up with less money.
Chances are, your family income barely covers one household.
What if the money had to cover two households? Any savings you have will be drained from the cost of divorce.
Next to children, the largest, most controversial decisions in a divorce have to do with who gets or has how much money and who gets or pays for any outstanding debt.
It won't matter how good your attorney is (and he or she will cost you a bundle), you or your husband (or both of you) are going to feel cheated by the courts.
It can cost tens of thousands of dollars for the divorce alone, not to mention what it will take every year to operate two households.
It simply costs more than staying together - even if you spend a fortune on couples counseling to keep the marriage intact.
If you divorce, in the end, savings, retirement, and any college money for the kids takes a giant hit.
Money is one more reason to find a way to stay together, if at all possible.
Divorce and Your Home You could lose your home.
You have heard the stories of women who have been married for 10, 20, even 30 years and then their husbands suddenly left them.
Instead of living in the home they helped create, they were forced to move to smaller homes or apartments.
We invest a lot of our emotional selves in our homes.
Having that ripped from us can be incredibly stressful.
Stopping Divorce You can try to stop your divorce.
Of all the women who say to themselves, "I think my husband wants a divorce" - nearly all of them had a chance to stop it.
However, action has to be taken quickly.
The longer the situation is left to continue without being addressed, the more difficult it will be to turn things around.
When one spouse decides to divorce another, it doesn't happen overnight.
There's an entire internal process that takes place over time leading up to the decision.
First, a problem develops.
Next, the spouse is unable to fix the problem through communication or action.
The problem becomes intolerable.
Divorce becomes the only solution.
The spouse considers the negative consequences of divorce, grieves for what will be lost and moves into action mode.
The unsuspecting spouse who waits until divorce is mentioned before taking any corrective action now has to fight all of the emotional passageways her husband has already traveled.
At this point, the husband's mind is so set on divorce, the wife is far behind in being able to convince her husband to try anything else.
If you can catch your husband before he passes through the stage of grieving for the lost relationship, you stand a better chance of being able to stop the divorce.
Rebuilding the Marriage You have to focus on rebuilding the marriage.
Stopping a divorce is not the final step to consider in situations where the wife says "I think my husband wants a divorce".
It is only a stopgap measure.
If you simply stop the divorce but don't fix the problem that caused your husband to decide this was his only solution to a problem, then you will be back in the same boat in no time.
Use couples counseling, relationship repair guides, or family support to get the two of you back on happier, more stable ground.
It will take a lot of work but will be so much better for you in the long run.
Once you recognize "I think my husband wants a divorce", you know you do not have a lot of time to turn things around.
You have to realize you have a lot at risk if your suspicions are true.
Your natural instinct might be to confront your husband, accuse him, cry or beg for him not to even think about divorce.
These types of approaches tend to only force the decision - and not in your favor.
You need to find a calm, rational way to turn your husband's mind around without begging and pleading.
You need to stay on even ground and get you and your husband thinking along the same lines - how to stay together.
Getting your husband out of the divorce mind cycle and in sync with your idea of stopping the divorce requires a very delicate approach.
Consult a couples' counselor or a relationship guide for assistance step by step assistance.