Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Why on Earth Did No One Talk to Me Before My Divorce and Separation?

We all know what it's like when a relationship breaks up, but not all of us know what it's like when a marriage breaks up.
Take the pain you felt when you broke up with your first true love, and multiply it 100 fold.
You think that because you are older, it should be easier to deal with- but guess what? It's not.
Love isn't quantifiable like figures or numbers - it ebbs and flows with time, sometimes being excruciatingly over-powering, and other times being as diluted as water.
So what happens to it when a marriage breaks up? Well, it doesn't just disappear - you will always have had those feelings for that person, they just may not manifest themselves in the same way.
Can you fall out of love? Sure, but that doesn't make dealing with the wrench of a broken relationship any easier.
In a marriage situation, you have the added complications of solicitors, finances, children, legal aid, and everything else that comes under the heading of divorce and separation.
This is the time when you know who your friends are.
We all know what it's like when, once we were invited as a couple to a dinner party, but now mysteriously, all those invitations have dried up.
Also, the other person's friends are no longer 'your' friends, all acquaintances seem to take sides, and each group of friends who you knew before the marriage, now stakes their loyalty with that person.
Not to mention children, who are painfully torn between both parents, and terribly, sometimes subconsciously feel pressure to take sides between the warring parents.
This is an absolute nightmare for a child who just wants a hug and a bedtime story, and wishes for everything to go back to 'the way it used to be'.
But unfortunately things can't go back to the way they were before.
All we can do is help ease the transition.
Friends and family are of the utmost importance, but perhaps even more importantly, are those who have been in the same situation, and are therefore better placed to empathise with your situation.
We all know what it's like, when it's late at night and you can't sleep, everything buzzing around your head.
You wake up more tired than when you went to bed first.
At times like this it's good to see how others have dealt with it, and that there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
There are websites for people going through this situation.
Like-minded people share their experiences, look for posts which can help them with their situation, or can ask for advice anonymously, Or even just browse and see how others are coming to terms with their situations.
If you are finding it hard, or feel you might be able to help someone who is struggling under the burden of break-up, go to http://www.
and just read, or give someone an encouraging word.
"This too will pass..

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