It's how we deal with these traumas they decide whether or not we get stuck in that particular groove.
Let's take grief as an example.
Everyone suffers from the loss of a loved one at some stage in their lives.
Some grieve openly for a period, then seem to bounce back and return to life.
Others never seem to grieve, but also never recover.
They remain stuck.
This is often termed as depression, whereas in reality it is being stuck in the grieving process.
The cause is often because they were not able to grieve openly.
Society doesn't condone free emotional expression.
Let's take another example to illustrate the point.
Many people don't handle aggression well.
When someone, say at work, verbally attacks you, you either tend to wind up and attack back, or become very tearful and emotionally wounded.
Neither of these scenarios are healthy and will contribute to your overall ill health if they are frequently repeated.
Can we learn about natural good health from animals? I like to spend time just being with my horses.
One morning, on my normal walk, an incident happened which made a profound impact on me.
My mare was being quite aggressive to the gelding.
She walked towards him showing all the signs of attack.
Very similar to a human verbal attack.
I watched him.
Although he was well aware of her approach, he took absolutely no notice until the last minute, when he simply side stepped to avoid her.
It was her 'stuff' and he didn't need to get involved.
He didn't buy into her aggression.
He didn't try to change her.
He simply got out of the way, when he needed to.
He is still a member of the herd.
He doesn't have any hard feelings towards her, as I regularly see them together.
Is it possible to do better than that? By not feeding her energy by reacting, the situation was diffused as quickly as it started.
Natural good health comes down to being emotionally balanced.
That doesn't mean being emotionally suppressed.
It means being able to freely express how you feel.
It means allowing others to express themselves freely.
It means not getting involved in how others feel.
It's their 'stuff'.
It means not trying to change others.
Once you learn to express yourself freely, you'll notice that this quickly dissipates the feeling.
And you move on.