Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

Divorce Court – How to Avoid It

We know we love our partner and they love us as well, but the relationship has stopped working, and we are only one step away from divorce court. We not only want to stay married, we also want to be happily married. How do we avoid what appears to be the inevitable?

If the love is still there for both of you, then sit down and talk. Try to find a time when you will not be disturbed and when you are both committed to discussing the problems in your marriage. You both need to first come to the conclusion that divorce court is not an option. There should be a mutual agreement to save your marriage.

Do not rush out to marriage counseling if your finances will suffer. That will only cause an additional problem. However, if you can afford it, it should be considered a first defense against divorce court. Since both of you are committed to working on your marriage, then counseling should help tremendously.

If you cannot afford counseling, your next best option is to read books on how to save your marriage, or download one of the online programs. Just make sure there's a money back guarantee. All programs are not beneficial.

From my own experience, I would advise communicating with your partner more and spending more quality time together. When you both have busy careers this could be a real challenge, however if you cannot make time for each other, nothing else will work. Communication is always the key in determining what is not working and discovering what may. Sometimes you have to make personal sacrifices in order to save your marriage. Let your partner know that their happiness is just as important as your own and get the ball rolling with the following questions.

Questions for You and Your Partner to Discuss
1. Do you want a divorce?
2. Is there someone else?
3. Are you angry at me?
4. How would you like to change things?
5. Do you still love me?
6. Do you still find me sexually desirable?
7. Are you satisfied with our sex life?
8. How do you feel about our finances?
9. How do you honestly feel about our marriage?
10. What steps can we take today to have a happier marriage?

That should get you started talking and you might discover what you need to do to avoid divorce court and save your marriage. Don't be afraid to seek counseling, and don't be afraid to bare your soul to your partner and hopefully he or she will do the same.

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