relationships are work.
They all have their challenges, arguments, disagreements, and fights.
We all want to find harmony with are sweethearts, however not all of us know how to do this.
Divorce is now at a staggering 51% and more common in our society than marriages staying together.
Why is this? Many reasons, hinder relationships to the point of divorce.
Here we will address some things that destroy relationships and how we can prevent this.
Relationships can be heaven or they can be hell.
Unfortunately, it is living in hell and blaming our sweethearts for our hell is what separates us.
Sometimes we just get married before we know what we want.
Sometimes we feel like we are on a timeline and need to find someone before it is too late.
Sometimes we are so in love and convinced this person is the one we will spend our lives with.
Then 5, 10, 20 years down the road comes the divorce papers.
We all ask our selves "How can we prevent this?".
Recently, my sweetheart and I began relationship coaching.
We did this because our fighting and blaming was becoming ugly and we were on the brink of separation.
I am not here to tell you I have it all figured out.
However, I will explain my experience with relationship coaching and how it has helped us renew our love and friendship together.
Our coach is named Rick.
He has been a coach for years and both him and his wife of 11 years are relationship coaches.
He approached us in the beginning and told us 2 things to lay a foundation He said there may be a time in our relationship when we have to separate.
But, that decision will come from a choice of peace and love, and not from a decision of regret, hate, revenge and remorse.
For me this opened me up to free me from holding onto so much fear and control.
I have this idea in my mind that if I am not in control of the relationship then it will end up like my parents ( a very dysfunctional/ tolerant relationship).
So when this idea came up it sparks a new way of being in our relationship.
One that is calm and patience with my sweetheart knowing that I do not have control of her reactions.
Second he said the purpose of our relationship was to be together to help the other person get rid of our 'junk'.
When our ugliness comes up and we blame the other person there is no listening or compassion.
There is only the thought of not being loved and accusing the other for creating it.
By putting the idea in my mind that we are both here to help each other release all of our junk, then I feel like we are both working together to make the other person better.
Now when my sweethearts 'junk' comes up I just let it flow past me and do my best to have a fun fulfilled day no matter what.