Unfortunately we all have fallen into this trap to a greater or lesser degree.
The trick to get your marriage onto a better footing is to address the communication breakdown which exacerbates any marriage problems.
This sort of breakdown happens so quickly and easily - some cutting comments, an unnecessarily aggressive retort, sarcasm, all of which can create unintended hurt.
And because there is no immediate response you think that it has gone unnoticed.
But any hurt not expressed or confronted simmers away and until a breaking point is reached.
Or frustration builds as a result of something which one of the partner regards as a minor habit - something as simple as book not replaced in the "proper" place, the lid off the milk bottle or carton, or newspapers not picked up.
But to the party concerned, it represented something much deeper - something which becomes a growing resentment with the automatic effect on the relationship.
The key to a good relationship is to avoid reaching this stage and the way you do this is
Furthermore even though it is not a big deal to you, it is vital that each partner must consider the other's feelings about misplacing books, leaving the top off the toothpaste etc..
A successful marriage must be based on good foundations.
There must be a commitment from both partners to understand each other's likes and dislikes.
It is important to understand how important those likes and dislikes are and compromises must be made.
Frustrations must be voiced before they get to boiling point.
As difficult as it is to some people, there is a vital need to talk about feelings as often as necessary.
As important as discussing those issues is the understanding that in doing so there will be no recriminations.
They must take place in an atmosphere of understanding and a desire to reach an amicable solution.
It is also important to bear in mind that frank discussions are difficult for some people.
There are many of us who do not like and cannot handle what we regard as confrontation.
Here's a suggestion which might help.
Each partner should list on a sheet of paper the 3 most irritating or annoying problems.
Then exchange the list and calmly discuss the problems your spouse is concerned about.
Again this must be done with the purpose of resolving problems and not creating new ones.
Whatever you do - remember that everything must be discussed in love and not dislike.
Frank discussions do help clear the air.
They also remove the feeling of loneliness.
A problem shared is a problem halved.