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Why Do I Date Possessive Men?

Possessive men are jealous and controlling very early in the relationship. This is a big sign which most girls overlook or miss. Unlike the abusive man who might start to show his true colours around two to four months into the relationship, possessive men show their jealousy within the first few weeks. Follow your instincts because the first time a possessive boyfriend shows his true colours your tummy will churn and you will think, what is wrong with this guy. If you ever think "what is wrong with this guy" it would be your instincts telling you that this guy does have a problem and he is not healthy to be around. Since we still do not know the possessive boyfriend well, we stay in the relationship because we feel we will discover his true colours later. The earlier you listen to your instincts and leave the relationship the quicker you can find a decent man and not regret wasting so much time on possessive men.

Signs of a possessive boyfriend are when you are out with friends; he cannot handle you talking to anyone else but him. The possessive boyfriend will call constantly to know your whereabouts and what you have been up to. The possessive boyfriend will want to spend time with you from the first day he meets you. Too much time, he never goes home or stops calling and you have only known him one week. Everything that you want to do, he will want to do too. Healthy relationships start gradually. You only start to do things everyday when you become serious which normally is four to six months down the track. Possessive men might also try to tell you how to dress. This is because they are paranoid about other men looking at you and asking you out on a date. In the possessive boyfriends mind, he is so insecure and he is convinced that your friends, family and other men will take you away from him. He will never see how you are only interested in him. Possessive men do not realise that it is their possessive nature which drives women away.

Possessive men will throw ‘tantrums' when you do not spend one hundred percent of your time with them. If you want to go out with just the girls, (it is healthy to want to have a night out with just friends or time to yourself), the possessive boyfriend will get mad and say things which will make you cancel your plans. The worst thing you can do is to give into possessive men. That is exactly what they want. They realise that they have control over you. Eventually the tantrums could get worse; they will never stop as it is always their way. You will find that the possessive boyfriend has isolated you from friends and family and you no longer feel free to do as you please or to make any decisions without his approval.

Possessive men could eventually turn to physical, verbal, financial or mental abuse in order to keep you under his control. The longer you stay in this poisonous relationship the harder it is for you to leave. There is no excuse for possessive behaviour. Possessive men act possessive because they feel insecure and powerless. They need constant attention because they do not feel in control if you are out of their sight or not directly giving them your time. Possessive men get paranoid very easily; even wanting to sit and read the newspaper on your own makes them feel out of control. You might find that they have to sit in the same room as you all the time. Possessive men misinterpret the situation when you say you would like some free time on your own or with a friend. Instead of understanding that we all need our own space they interpret this as you do not like them or you wish to leave them. You cannot fix this. The possessive boyfriend has to learn to deal with his own insecurities

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