How to Recover From Unhealthy Male Role Models
- 1). Talk to someone about your feelings. According to researcher Michael Barry, who wrote "The Forgiveness Project: The Startling Discovery of How to Overcome Cancer, Find Health, and Achieve Peace," holding on to negative feelings of "unforgiveness," anger, bitterness and resentment can affect you physically and cause emotional stress. Talk with a friend or family member you can trust. You can also confide in a pastor, a school counselor or a counselor at your community's health and wellness center.
- 2). Spend time with positive male role models who have the qualities to positively influence and encourage you. Your church may organize a group that offers motivational speaking seminars and activities such as fishing and basketball, where you can bond with other males. If you're in school, join a sports team or social club, where the coaches can serve as healthy role models. You can also inquire at your place of employment about mentoring programs that will allow you to spend time with a reputable leader in your organization.
- 3). Forgive the person who hurt you. Forgiveness may be painful and is not an overnight process. If you truly want to be free from a life of not harboring bitterness and never trusting another male, at some point in your journey you have to let go and forgive. Katherine Piderman, a staff chaplain at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., helps patients heal from emotional pain through the power of forgiveness. Piderman says, "Forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge." She also says that you can "forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life."